Opalescence

Word from the black is that more than a few people found rather amusing my diatribe of my less than stellar grocery store debacle from a couple posts ago.  I’ve also had a couple of suggestions that elaborating on the Jedi costume incident might be appreciated.  As I’ve never placed too high a premium on my own personal dignity, here goes:

It had been a good day, despite the fact that Halloween had fallen on a work day.  I wore my Jedi costume to work, organized a fairly successful costume contest during the break (complete with refreshments and decorations, and oh yeah–prizes), and had gotten a ton of compliments on my costume and how good it looked.  Needless to say, I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, and I’m sure that’s why Lady Fate decided to intervene.

Something you can always say about fate, destiny, Allah, the Wheel of Time, or whatever your conception of it is: it exists to maintain balance.  You aren’t allowed, usually, to get too down in the dumps–or too high up in the clouds.  Apparently milady thought I was getting too full of myself, and decided to make sure I stayed "properly centered."  Either that or I’m just delusional (which isn’t impossible).

So, I’m feeling so good about Halloween, and my prettypretty awesome costume, that I figure, "Hey, why not go and do my grocery shopping in costume?  Let’s spread the holiday cheer and let people point at me!  Little kids can ask me if they can have my lightsaber!" (for the record, that has happened)

All is going well: I find everything I need, pay for my considerable load of groceries, and–despite my lack of pockets–have no problem positioning my keys, wallet, phone, etc. in places I can reach and use and walk without causing too much discomfort.  I head out of the store into the cold fall darkness–because, being in more or less rural Minnesota, you can count on the falls to be cold and dark–noting offhandedly that I’m glad I don’t have to stand out here for very long, because my costume’s not all that thick.

I begin loading my trunk, and this is where my mistake occurs.  You see, thinking I possessed the presence of mind and common sense to remember what I was doing, I placed my keys just inside the trunk, thinking to myself, "Whatever you do, don’t lock yourself out of your car."  I then went and loaded the groceries in and, exhausted and happy that I’d done so, I tiredly reached for the trunk and slammed the thing shut.

At which point my mind yells, "YOU MORON!" at me.

After several cold minutes of fruitless attempts to get the car open, I went into the grocery store, tail between my legs, and explained my situation to customer service.  Assuring me that I had nothing to be ashamed of, I was told, "People do stuff like this all the time."

I remember thinking, "Really?  People dress up in Jedi costumes complete with a toy lightsaber, load a ton of groceries into their cars and then forget their keys after they told themselves not to?  Wow.  Good to know I’m not the only one."  But I didn’t say that.

Thirty minutes, and thirty dollars, later, someone from a local glass company (or window installation company, I can’t really remember) comes to the parking lot I’m in and springs my door open.  I thank him, start up the car, and drive home, wondering why the hell Lady Fate felt the need to smack me around so thoroughly.

Because again, it’s all about the balance.  You can’t get too far up or down, if things work the way we’ve been told they should.  There will be exceptions, good and bad "phases", and so forth, but by and large, we’re meant to have a balance of good and bad, left and right, up or down…

… and of course, pride and indignity.

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