Opalescence

Movie Review: X-Men – The Last Stand June 2, 2006

DISCLAIMER: This movie review contains MASSIVE SPOILERS!  I do spoilers when I do any kind of review, so if you haven’t seen this movie yet and don’t want to know what happens, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER.  You have been warned.

Basics
Not long after the events in the last X-Men movie, a number of tempestuous events rock the world of Xavier’s team of mutant heroes.  A serum is developed that will eliminate genetic mutations, which the government is calling a cure; Jean Grey returns from the dead, triggered by a malevolent entity known as the Phoenix; and Magneto is amassing an army of mutants, rallying them against the status quo and the "cure" that is gaining so much publicity. 

Dr. Hank McCoy, formerly an X-Man named Beast and current Secretary of Mutant Affairs, discusses the ramifications of the cure with Charles and the X-Men at the mansion, while Rogue expresses interest in it and eventually runs off to obtain it.  After a brief heartfelt reunion between Cyclops and Jean at Alkali Lake, Scott meets a horrible fate as she incinerates him in a fit of passion.  Storm and Wolverine find her unconscious and bring her back to the professor, who explains how he psychically limited Jean’s access to her powers, all in the name of keeping her controlled.  When she escapes from the mansion, he and Magneto visit her at her home, where they revisit an old confrontation with her.  As Wolverine and Storm battle through Magneto’s new henchmen Juggernaut and Callisto to try to reach the professor, Jean and Xavier engage in a psychic wrestling match, in which Xavier is killed.

At his funeral, Storm decides to keep the school open, and Wolverine runs off to locate Jean.  He learns where Magneto is going to strike, and the X-Men–Storm, Wolverine, Beast, Iceman, Colossus, and Kitty Pryde–fly to Alcatraz Prison to protect the developers of the cure from Magneto and his army.  In the ensuing battle, the X-Men protect the boy who is the source of the cure, defend the facility from Magneto, and Wolverine has a final, painful encounter with Jean, where he eviscerates her to keep the Phoenix from returning.  Upon returning to the mansion, Bobby finds Rogue has been cured of her mutation, and she can now touch him.  Magneto is de-powered and, in a final scene that just screams ‘sequel’, we see him moving a metallic chess piece just a fraction of an inch–without touching it.  In a brief scene after the credits, we also see that Xavier has transfered his consciousness to one of Dr. MacTaggart’s braindead patients.

What Rocked

• Kelsey Grammer as Beast.  From the voice to the attitude, this was a casting decision that was as spot-on as Patrick Stewart playing Charles Xavier.  It was a joy to watch, and Grammer did not disappoint as the erudite, acrobatic Dr. McCoy.
• The deaths of several X-Men.  Scott, Xavier and Jean die in this film, which was pretty shocking, but really served to advance the story.  Discounting the idea that Jean has been resurrected before, and that Professor X comes back in the epilogue scene, the deaths really drop jaws, as it’s easy to imagine that none of these people would ever die in the movies.
• Storm’s development.  You can hate Halle Berry, but there’s no denying that Storm really kicked butt in this film, even getting to take on her comic book fight mate Callisto.  A character who was once just another X-Man to me really came through as a strong and engaging leader in this one.
• The "cure" debate.  It’s easy to see both sides of this argument, with mutants who don’t readily fit in wanting not to be persecuted, and those who find offensive the idea that there’s something wrong with them that needs to be "cured."  The philosophical argument soon gives way to the battle between Magneto and the X-Men, but it’s a passionate enough idea that it’s believable that it would get to that point quickly.
• The New X-Men.  Colossus.  Iceman.  Kitty Pryde.  They become full members of the team in this movie, and they prove pivotal.  Bobby gets to finally put Pyro in his place, Colossus shows us how to do the Fastball Special, and Kitty actually gets to save a kid’s life during the battle.  They were fun to watch, and it was good to see the team evolving, through both attrition and new blood.
• "I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!"  I burst out laughing at that quote, and if you don’t know why, go here and see why.  This line was a shout out to this video.
• Angel.  Like him or hate him, I’m glad Angel had just a touch of screen time, as his inclusion, as well as Beast’s made this the movie where we finally see all 5 original X-Men in the films (the originals being Jean, Cyclops, Beast, Iceman and Angel).  His subplot also dovetailed with the larger story nicely without taking away from it.

What Blew

• Scott’s death.  Granted, I’m no rabid Cyclops fan, but aside from deviating from canon (which I can readily forgive), this event really gave short shrift to a character who honestly deserved more.  Jason Marsden was involved in another movie, and Halle Berry wanted more character development for Storm, so that explains why things happened the way they did, but I really think you could have cut Scott out without killing him and transforming a formerly competent leader into an emotionally crippled wimp.
• Phoenix’s method of killing.  I understand from a practical standpoint why this was necessary.  Blood and gore would kill any chance of retaining a PG-13 rating.  I’m sure money was somehow saved (though I imagine CG confetti is expensive).  But honestly, watching the Phoenix kill people by disinegrating them into confetti was more than a little cheesy.
• Rogue.  Formerly the focus of the first story, and a somewhat pivotal player in the second, Rogue becomes a whiner in this one, and is barely seen.  She is replaced to some extent by Kitty, which is smart, but I think her part and scenes could have been lent more substance and dignity.

What’s Been Said Thus Far
Most of what I’ve read so far has been along the lines of "a good movie, not a bad finish to the trilogy, but the worst of the three."  The concept has been applauded, along with the inclusion of Grammer’s Beast, but many have said that the movie feels too rushed and tries to accomplish too much in too little time.  I’ve also seen quite a few reviews that have blatantly trashed this film for reasons that seem trite and immature ("They killed Scott/Xavier/Jean!  This sucks!" or "This didn’t follow the comics closely enough, and I’ll never watch any more that are made!"  Honestly, get over your delusions, kids.).

Overall Assessment
I agree that this film felt rushed in places, and that a longer time might have actually helped that, but I don’t believe this was the worst film of the trilogy; that dubious distinction goes to the first one–though, to be fair, I still think it’s a great movie (it was just short and was obviously made under time/money constraints–which is a testament to Bryan Singer’s directing wizardry that it was so good).  I think the emotion and drama in this story, combined with enough wit and geek treats for the fans, actually made this movie the second best of the three.  It showed that we have a lot to learn about tolerating differences in others and that just because we have the capability of performing certain actions, like quick-fix "cures," it doesn’t necessarily mean we have the right to do so, and that we should perhaps take more time to think more thoroughly through the problem at hand.  Provided a sequel does occur, I think there are plenty of loose ends and problems that could be picked up and expanded upon to satisfactorily fill another movie, but I also feel that if this truly is the last stand, that it provides enough closure to leave things as they are.

But seriously, I want another trilogy.

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